Deserve is another word for “entitled”. Many people have told me that they believe that they are entitled to respect. I said, “From whom? Everyone? Does every single person know that? And what have you done to earn every single person’s respect? Is respect just to be given to you because you are who you are – special to you, but not to all these strangers?” And I have asked many people, “What would you say to someone who asked you, ‘What have you done to deserve the respect you are asking me to give you? I mean, I don’t know you, so tell me why you deserve my respect.” Some say, because I am a human being.” Fair enough. And of course, I then ask, “And based on that, do you respect every single person as much as you deserve to be respected just because they are a human being and deserve your respect, or is this a one-way deal?” 💥
The attitude of “deserve”, as a rule, is a one-way street. Deserve or entitlement also assumes that at least one person, if not several, were born with the task of fulfilling your expectations. I mean, expectations do not get filled by themselves. Someone has to “make” you happy; someone has to “provide” security and safety; someone has to “provide” love. 💥
Dwell on this Truth: I am not entitled to that person or any person loving me – and yet, that person loves me. That person feels that his or her entire world is a far more beautiful place because I am in it. I do not have the power in me to make any one love me that much. How is it that this partner or this friend or this child has come to love me so dearly? That type of love is a blessing, not an entitlement. I am loved not because I deserve it but because I am blessed to be loved by another. I did not make love happen to me; love was given to me. And I must learn to love without ever thinking whether someone is entitled to be loved by me. I must ask myself: How loving can I be? If I am entitled to anything in this life, I am entitled to discovering the depth to which I am capable of loving others. 💥
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