Crazy Harry

If the world was crazy, you know what I’d eat?

A big slice of soup and a whole quart of meat,

A lemonade sandwich, and then I might try Some roasted ice cream or a bicycle pie,

A lovely notebook salad, an underwear roast,

An omelette of hats and some crisp cardboard toast,

A thick malted milk made from pencils and daisies,

And that’s what I’d eat if the world were crazy.

If the world was crazy, you know what I’d wear?

A chocolate suit and a tie of éclair,

Some marshmallow earmuffs, some licorice shoes,

And I’d read a paper of peppermint news.

I’d call the boys “Suzy”, and I’d call the girls “Harry,”

I’d talk through my ears, and I always would carry

A paper umbrella for when it grew hazy

To keep in the rain if the world was crazy.

If the world was crazy, you know what I’d do?

I’d walk on the ocean and swim in my shoe,

I’d fly through the ground, and I’d skip through the air;

I’d run down the bathtub and bathe on the stair.

When I met somebody,

I’d say, “G’bye, Joe,” When I was leaving, I’d say, “Hello.”

And the greatest of men would be silly and lazy so that I would be king… if the world was crazy.