The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their possum infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the possums were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the possums drown themselves. The possums liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their possums and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the possums were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
But the Anglican and Catholic churches came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the possums and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first possum and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.