Life can teach us a lesson, but it’s only a lesson if you learn from whatever it was that happened!
Often when you are being dealt a lesson, emotions of all kinds are running high within your heart and mind, so it can take awhile to learn from the situation you found yourself in !
I’ve been in many of these situations and I’m sure many others have been as well !
But I haven’t always learned a lesson from some of my experiences, as soon as my situation slowly improved, I would be grateful and just move on( with no lesson learned ) just happy things had improved !
So sure enough, I would continue to find myself in similar situations time and time again !
Go through the same frustration, pain, disappointment, anguish, heartache and hardship, sadness again !
Typical, when you haven’t learned a lesson from your original experience !
Great good can come from a bad situation… but only if you learned from the experience that hurt you!
It might not be over a relationship, friendship, family, drugs or alcohol… it can be anything !
One thing is certain, when you are affected by a situation or event that hits you hard… you find out just how many of your friends are real, the real friends will try and give you support in some way, family is family, but too often they are not there for you at times of hardship!
If Family members are, then you are very lucky indeed !
Sadly the help you are given( if your lucky enough to get it) is not the help you need, but any help is better than none ! Atleast some people made an effort !
But at the end of the day, it is you and you alone( no one else) that can get you back on track, but how long you stay on track depends on whether or not you learned a lesson from the episode that affected you!
Sadly many people don’t understand what it’s like to hit ROCK BOTTOM, cos they have been lucky enough to have avoided it, or maybe they have been smart enough
I look at homeless people very differently now, compared to how I used to!
Some homeless people choose to live that way, believe it or not !
If you don’t believe that’s true, get off your high horse and leave your ego behind and speak to homeless people !
They will be happy to engage you in conversation and some of them will openly admit that they choose to be homeless( for a variety of reasons )
Some of the reasons they have will shock you to the core !
I know, cos I’ve spent a lot of time with some of them 2 years ago… when due to some bad luck and some foolish decisions, I found myself to also be homeless
It is an extremely lonely, sad, painful and humbling experience !
I was shocked how easily and quickly things could change in your life to cause someone to become homeless !
Where are all your friends and relatives at these times ?
Surely there is a bed and warmth for you from one of them ?
I can’t answer that issue, that’s a question for the friends and relatives of a homeless person to answer. I just know that most homeless people don’t want to be homeless!
I have not forgotten my experience of homelessness April – August 2018 and I never will !
4 and a half months I will never forget !!
It was partly bad luck and partly my own foolish decision of placing too much trust in someone that caused my sudden fall to nothing
I have learned my lesson from that experience and I’ve learned a lot about people, friends and relatives as a result !
I was also surprised by the support that came from people I didn’t even really know, that offered me help and support and a bed of some sort!
As desperate as I was, I was too proud and embarrassed to accept some of the beautiful offers of help!
Ego and pride can do that !
But I accepted one of the offers from a person I hardly knew( had only met a couple of times) he was an Angel on a very dark night for me
Fate can act in strange ways sometimes
April- August is a very cold time of year to be homeless
I found my refuge on a mattress on the floor in a factory ( a very cold Metal Fabrication Welding factory) with the company of a guard dog named Missy ❤️
Thank god for Missy, she was great company and never interrupted my thoughts, cos I did a lot of thinking and soul searching !
I lived like that with restrictions, I couldn’t be there until all workers had finished work for the day and I had to be out of there before they arrived at work at 6 am every week day!
Weekends I stayed alone in that cold factory and thought about the events that caused me to be there! I learned to enjoy my own company!
I’m many ways it was peaceful and tranquil .
Showering was visiting different friends and asking to use their shower, that was challenging cos many of them worked, so I could only use their shower at certain times( early in the morning or early evening) needless to say it wasn’t possible to shower every day given those time restrictions
Where were my friends and relatives or so called friends during this time in my life you might ask?
Well they were there or not far away, they fell into four groups by my reckoning…
Group 1 – would love to help but can’t at the moment cos of issues they themselves were dealing with at that time and provided some help eg food or access to shower etc
Group 2 – avoided me like the plague cos they had heard I was dealing with problems
Organisation 3- some I never contacted cos I felt too embarrassed and humiliated( my own choice )
Group 4 – some that just did not give a fuck ! ( Painful but real)
Why have I written this post and exposed myself ?
Because I have learned my lesson but many others that were aware of my desperate situation two years ago, still have not learned their experience as they watched me go through homelessness!
They still think they have all the answers, have full control of their lives and are financially stable and great supportive friends in their life, so becoming homeless can never happen to them !
This time of year will forever be a reminder to me of the many homeless people out in the cold and feeling real pain and loneliness !
Yes, some are suffering because of a drug or alcohol or violence situation that they caused( but they still need help )
Some are homeless cos they want to be homeless( but they still need support and help )
Some are there cos of mental health issues( they need support more than ever )
Some( like me )became homeless overnight without any warning and are still trying to come to terms with the reality of their situation !
I know which people tried to help me and I clearly know which ones didnt !
I wish them no harm, but I will never forget the reasons and excuses for not being able to help !
Needless to say my friendship group has diminished to a much smaller number( my choice ) and my group of ( people that I know )has grown significantly !
Don’t ever think for a moment that this type of situation can not happen to you , cos it can and it happens to people every day!
Every homeless person is someone’s son or daughter or brother or sister or relative or friend !
Finally they are homeless!
It is a very humbling and scary experience and it will never happen to me again !
But I now know who really gave a fuck and who didn’t , that was part of my lesson !
Second part is… you don’t know someone as well as you think you do until you are in a desperate situation and be careful of trusting someone and be cautious of new people you meet in your life before you bare your soul !
If you see a homeless person on the streets or bus stop this Winter, if you cant help them in anyway, atleast acknowledge their existence and say hello !
It might help them more than you know!
Don’t assume they are bums and deserve to be homeless !
I appreciate it the smaller things in life now more than ever, and I no longer trust others easily!
After all, you can truly only depend on yourself and it’s not what happens to you, but what you do about it that defines who you really are !
In hindsight, I’m grateful I had the experience, it has let me see and understand how loving and caring some people can be, but also shown me how ignorant and selfish people can be !
No one is immuned from becoming homeless, NOBODY !
My lesson memorised