If there’s one thing that can help you get through the toughest of times, it’s knowing you are not alone. Having someone there for you, supporting you, can be what keeps you going, gets you through just one more day and one more day is all you ever need to make it through, one day at a time.

Things change, we change… and things that were soul-destroying as a child/teenager, looking back we can see that most were really not as tragic as we thought they were, and they certainly weren’t the end of the world at all.

However, for children suffering abuse or bullying it can be so bad that life can seem not worth living and whether it’s abuse, or a break up, or fearing HSC results, it’s all important to us at the time and as a child we have nothing to compare it to and pain is pain, fear is fear.

The worst pain, or the most horrific fear you can imagine, is still the worst pain and the most horrific fear for you, whether it seems silly to an adult or not, is irrelevant.

I look back on the times in my life where I didn’t care if I lived or died, and the few times where I actively sought to escape the pain permanently, and the thing that kept me going….. was someone.

Not always a friend, sometimes an acquaintance, or even a complete stranger. It could be someone I met on the street, someone who could see my pain, sometimes just a voice over the phone, or an internet message, but always… someone who cared.

Most of the time they didn’t really know me or know what was wrong, but they cared enough to see I was in pain and that was enough for me to not feel quite so alone and to feel that just perhaps…. it was worth going on…. and just maybe… things would get better.

The funny thing is, most of the people who got me through don’t even know the impact they had on my life. The lady who sat beside me at the railway station, she told me she could feel my sadness and that she just wanted to give me a hug. I cried in her arms that day, I didn’t speak and all I remember her saying is “I’m sorry.” I had never seen her before nor since that day, but she gave me the gift of her time, and her shoulder, and that was enough to keep me going.

The hand on your shoulder, the words, are you ok? Or I’m sorry, can make a world of difference. Just being there, just noticing another is in pain, can be enough to give hope and we all have the ability to give hope to someone else.

There’s rarely a day I don’t see posts on Facebook saying “I’ve had enough,” or “When does it start to get better?” We all have those days where life is tough and there seems no break on the horizon, days where it would really help to know we’re not alone.

Unfortunately, these can be the times that people turn away from us, overburdened with their own problems the last thing they need is someone else’s.

So, if you see someone who’s in pain, sad or alone, even on FB, take the time to say I’m here, or I care, or just listen, because you just never know the impact you may have on another’s life and your words, or your time may just be what helps someone else get through one more day.

And to the people out there who struggle silently, who are always the first to help others but never share just how close they are to the edge…..to you, I want you to know I see you, I want you to know, I care, and most importantly, I want you to know, it’s ok to take time for yourself.

Your pain is just as important as anyone else’s, your feelings count, it’s not a competition of who has the worst problems, or who can voice them the loudest. I’ve learnt over the years that you just never know what someone’s going through, we’re all different, some people share everything and that’s awesome that they’re comfortable doing that. That ability to share means they are the ones who tend to get the most sympathy and the most support, but that doesn’t mean our other friends are less in need of our care.

I’ve lost friends over the years to mental illness, they rarely, if ever, showed they were in pain. In fact, they were the ones first in line to help others, always smiling and joking.. but it was a façade. I wish they had said something, I wish I had said more, then perhaps they would still be here.

I guess if there’s a lesson to be learned from this it’s that we are all different, some of us are comfortable sharing our problems, other’s not so much, but we all have a need to connect and to know we’re not alone.

So, especially at this time when many of us are isolated from family and feeling particularly alone, try and reach out to a friend. Ask how they’re doing and when they say great or fine, say ok…now, how are you really doing ?

And listen to the answer you’re given, really listen. You just never know how much your words can mean to someone else.

Your concern may be what just gets them through another day.
(TC) xox

FACAA #ProudFACAA #Child #Abuse #ChildAbuse #YouAreNotAlone #SurvivorsSunday #SurvivorsOfChildAbuse #EndingChildABuse #RaisingAwareness #ChangingLaws #HealingSurvivors #ChangingLives #HopeForTheHopeless #VoiceForTheVoiceless #GuardiansOfTheInnocent #ChildrensChampions #WeWillFight #StandUp #NeverGonnaStop #SaveTheKids #NoExcuses #FromHellWeRise #LegalReform #JuliasJustice #JamiesGuardians #PhoenixProgram