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KINDNESS WISDOM

Happiness is just taking one moment at a time ๐Ÿ˜

  A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says, “Please come over here and help me.

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

Her neighbour asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The little silver haired lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her neighbour decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”

He takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then,” he said with a deep sigh ….

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 How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity in RETIREMENT

1.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars, and watch them slow down!

2.

On all your cheque stubs, write, ‘For Marijuana’!

3.

Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

4.

With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.

5.

Sing along at The Opera.

6.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’

7.

When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’

8.

Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go….โ€™

9.

Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favourite:

10.

Go to a large Department storeโ€™s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, โ€œThereโ€™s no paper in here!โ€

By ace101

Ace Worldwide News Group working with Kindness & Wisdom in perfect harmony to provide help and guidance through news & views and the truth to people in need Amen

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