Category: wisdom

We often think of failure as the inability to accomplish a certain objective. We give it our best shot and the results are less than favorable. We’ve failed.

Ah, but does that have to be the end of the story? No! We can consider it a failure ONLY if we stop trying after we experience the less than favorable result.

If we keep working at it, we might turn a “failure” into a success!

Do yourself a favor and change your definition of failure right now. Here is your new definition of failure:

Not having a plan, not working a plan, and giving up too soon.

Think of any great achievement in history, and you can be certain that the achiever had to attempt it more than once – sometimes hundreds of times!

If you’ve “failed” at anything in the past, be honest with yourself: how many times did you try? Did you give it a halfhearted effort and then give up when it seemed too hard? Did you let yourself become intimidated by challenges, or disempowered by negative comments from friends and colleagues?

Though you may believe that it was out of your hands, it’s important to understand something:

You made a choice to fail.

You gave up. You stopped trying. It doesn’t matter what the reasons were, even though they may have seemed perfectly logical at the time. The fact is, you allowed external conditions to erode your motivation and determination, and you threw in the towel.

You may resist this idea because let’s face it; it’s not a comfortable thing to hear. But this painful little insight comes with some good news!

If you made the choice to fail, you can also make the choice to succeed.

Whether you decide to pick up an old dream and dust it off or choose an exciting new path to travel, the outcome is within your control!

With the right attitude, focused action steps and a solemn vow to never give up, success will be yours.

Don’t approach your goals with an attitude of “try,” only an attitude of DO! That little gem by the fictional character of Yoda actually holds a tremendous amount of wisdom.

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.

“Trying” means you are not going to give it your all. It means you will keep going until the going gets too tough. It means you are giving yourself an out in case you grow weary of the battle. It means you are giving yourself permission to surrender to mediocrity.

“Doing” means that failure is not an option. It implies that you vow to give every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears you have available because you believe in your dreams that much. It means that you cannot and will not accept defeat because the stakes are too high. It means that you are willing to work as long and as hard as necessary to achieve the outcome you desire, even if it takes years.

This is your life and you must decide that there is no going back, no giving up, no giving in – NO MATTER WHAT!

Saying No to somebody when we’re used to saying Yes, can be challenging as we fear being rejected.

Many of us, from childhood on, are taught that saying yes is right and saying no is wrong.

We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is indelibly intertwined with the ability to make choices.

When we sense we are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to choose.

Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will reject us for our assertiveness.

But the reward we receive upon facing this challenge is true freedom of choice.

When others ask you to take on work or do favors, consider their requests carefully. If you feel pressed to say yes, consider whether you are acquiescing out of a desire for approval or to stave off disapproval.

Remind yourself often that the ability to say no is an important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that you understand the true value of your energy, talents, and time.

As you learn to articulate your personal power by saying no, you may feel compelled to explore the myriad consequences of the word by responding negatively to many or most of the requests put to you.

The word “no” may even become your default response for some time. When you see that life moves forward without interruption, however, you will grow more comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of balance.

There is nothing inherently wrong with acceding to the requests others make of you, provided these requests do not infringe upon your health or your happiness.

Keep in mind that it is only when you feel you have the legitimate right to say no that you can say yes with utmost certainty, sincerity, and enthusiasm.

While saying yes almost always has a cost, you can feel good about offering your agreement when your reasons for doing so are rooted in your individual values and your appreciation for the appeal before you.