Interviewer: Mr Porter, thank you for your time.
Porter: Oh, that’s just fine.
Interviewer: Mr Porter, you seem to be quite angry about Jetstar cancelling 48 flights tomorrow and industrial action.
Porter: Oh, yes, you see, a few companies have been very naughty, and haven’t been paying their employees properly.
Interviewer: Well, who else are you aware of.
Porter: Oh, there was a supermarket giant. I have to get my feather out.
Interviewer: Your feather?
Porter: Yes, you see, I have to ask the CEOs to come to my office and hold out their hands and they’ll get a little tickle with it.
Interviewer: A little tickle.
Porter: Yes, you see, it’s not nice of them to not pay their employees properly. You see, Scotty from Marketing said that those who have a go will get a go.
Interviewer: He did, but what did he actually mean by it?
Porter: Well, he meant that if you line up for a turn on the merry-g-round you could have a ride, but you have to me very quiet. You see, the operator doesn’t like people who make noise.
Interviewer: Doesn’t he?
Porter: No, you see, if these naughty CEOs don’t pay their employees properly, those damn unions start making too much noise. So much so that I have to put my earplugs in.
Interviewer: Is that right?
Porter: Yes, you see, if there’s too much noise, the government gets a headache.
Interviewer: Does it?
Porter: Yes, you see the unions come in and the start playing music.
Interviewer: Is that bad?
Porter: Oh, it’s terrible. You see, demands for wages are music to the ears of the not so quiet people. And the din gives us a headache. You see, people start singing I’m Still Standing, and oh, the noise is terrible.
Interviewer: So, what are you going to do?
Porter: Well, I’m going to get the CEOs to come to my office and after the tickle, I’m going to say, “Now, I want you all to be good boys and promise me to pay people properly, “Dib, dib, dib! Dob, dob, dob!”
Interviewer: That’s for the boy scouts.
Porter: Oh, they’ll be good boys, they’ll promise me.
Interviewer: We’ll have to leave it there. Mr Porter, thank you for your time.
Porter: Hey, Pot, can you ask them to be a little quieter, and stop crying.?
Hello Professor my Sweet Pea