“REALLY NICE!” a poem July 6, 2019 (Saturday)
And when-they -get REA-ea-ea-lly, REEEEAAAAlly upset, you-better break out The Lime,
And-be REA-eally ni ce, serving say: vory-coconut-tea – or-lime-flavored gin-and-tonics!
Or-else! You’re-liable-to-die because-they-might-have crude weapons, like spears and kniv es, tipped with onyx!
Onyx knife tips! Chiseled! that can-cut you to “The-Bone!”
Really, really NICE PEOPLE! Don’t be caught with them alone,
Like – in a dark alley or – in your bath-a-room!
It could be THE DEATH OF YOU! or-worse? Your: Doom!
Oh, you-know-me!! I’M-JUST-KIDDING! What-they-REALLY-do:
IS [Well!] Just-BE NICE!! &-Kind! (sometimes!) Give you gifts! and-nice-meals-too!
Like: EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY (according to “M U M!”) are: “Nice Folk!”
Well! (pause) I don’t know ’bout that! I think it could-be A-JOKE?
BECAUSE (pause) I have seen my parents!* on FULL MOON nights,
[My Folks-are-in their mid-80’s now!] I’ve-seen-’em-wearing: BLACK-s-x-y-TIGHTS!
I’ve-seen-’em – DOING STUFF AT MIDNIGHT! in The-Telly-Vision-Room,
That SHOULDN’T be mentioned in “mixed company!” like: Mom! with her broom!
I think she flies around on it! AND! Beats Daddio – pretty good!
One-word: “sexbondageorgy!” and (pause) They wear “The Orgy Hood!”
I’ve seen ’em burning STRANGE INCENSE! and casting – the strangest spell,
Which [I-just-know] summons terrifying beasts! from – some Putrid, Loathsome Hell,
AND! IF-I-ask-’em: “How are you?” or “What-do-you-think-you’re-doing?”
They look at me, and (kinda) HISS! with-a cauldron brewing!
They say: “We’re making – a REALLY NICE tea! (pause) with crumpets and jam,
And I SAY: “Sure you are-and-you’re-both-REALLY-nice, aren’t you?”
[and-Mum-says: “I AM!”]
And Pop agrees!!! (spooky!) and IN THE MORNING, IT’S ALL CLEANED UP,
And I find: AN UNUSUAL TEA – in a REALLY NICE, SINister cup!**
[Daddio sometimes reminds me: “The A-corn-don’t-drop-far-from-The-Oak?-Hey?”***
And I go: “Are-you-REALLY-my-father?” “JUST ASK YOUR MUMMY – KAY!”]
- – AND sometimes my creepy, little sister . . . and her husband sometimes too!
** – I think IT could be The Holy Grail! 🙂 – or worse!
Addendum: And I look at The Tea! Yes, I look – VERY CARE-FUL-LEE! If-you-think-I’m-drinking-that-stuff, you-got-another-thing-comin’ ! [‘Cause-it-smells-so-so-spoo-oo-kee!]
*** – or O K !
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